"On television, it's usually the rich kids who assert control at a high school; however, most of Squirrel Hill's genuinely rich kids go to the local private school, Shadyside Academy. The ones that remain are too few to impose any kind of order. I mean, occasionally, they try to, and that tends to be more adorable than anything else. Like when Olivia Ryan freaks out about the puddle of urine that appears in one of the stairwells most days between 10:30 and 11:00 AM, shrieking at bystanders in an insane, misguided attempt to try to figure out who did it. You want to say 'Liv! The perpetrator has probably not returned to the scene of the crime. Pee Diddy is long gone by now.' But even if you did say that, she probably wouldn't stop freaking out. And anyway, my point is that the freaking out doesn't have any measurable effect on anything. It's like when a kitten tries to bite something to death. The kitten clearly has the cold-blooded murderous instinct of a predator, but at the same time, it's this cute little kitten, and all you want to do is stuff it in a shoebox and shoot a video of it for grandmas to watch on YouTube."
When a girl Greg accidentally dated in middle school is diagnosed with cancer, Earl's mom forces him to hang out with her. This book is the story of what that does to his life. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but with less deep meaning and a lot more hilarious passages like the one above.